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My neuroses: screw you, nutrition label

There is a very important rule by which I live my life: some foods are just better without the nutrition label.

It isn’t a secret: I am what you would call a very health-conscious human being. I try to make sure that Justin and I eat nutritious meals, with a plethora of fresh vegetables, fruits, and grains. I make an honest effort to stay away from anything that is processed. Poor Justin…I’ve deprived him of Cheez Wiz, frozen dinners, and…chemicals.

I do read nutrition labels on food…when I’m in the grocery store and want to make an informed decision. However, once an item lands in my kitchen, I am no longer allowed to look at it. When I place items in my cupboard or refrigerator, they absolutely MUST have their nutrition label facing away from me. If I see a can or box that is placed improperly, I feel compelled to adjust it. This goes for all types of food: boxes of pasta, cans, even the ketchup bottle. If I’m sitting at the dinner table and a condiment bottle’s nutrition label is facing towards me, I have to turn it around…even when I’m at someone else’s house. If I’m at a restaurant with ketchup and mustard bottles on the table…you betcha…I am immediately twisting them to face the correct direction.

Now, there are also some food items that I have sworn to myself to never look at the nutrition label of. Ice cream, chocolate, and other desserts usually fall under this category. Dessert is my favorite meal of the day, and I can’t bring myself to feel guilty by studying a nutrition label on some of those items. The M&M bag’s nutrition facts must NEVER, under any circumstances, face me. I just don’t want to know. They are delicious, and that is all that matters. The worst part of this habit is when the nutrition label is placed right next to cooking instructions (on a cake mix, for example). I have even been known to take a pair of scissors to a cake box to remove the label so I don’t accidentally see the facts when I am reading the instructions. I know – I’m SO weird.

All I have to say is: thank GOODNESS that wine bottles are nutrition label-free. That means my drink is guilt-less, right?


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