Everything Else

I am terrified of my hairdryer

It was a morning like any other. I woke up to the sound of my alarm, hopped in the shower, moisturized, and put on my makeup. Justin joined me in the bathroom to shave as I combed my locks and reached towards my hairdryer. Typical routine…

I clicked the “on” switch, just like I do every day. Then, I pointed it towards my head.

About 3 seconds later, to my shock and horror, something blew out of the front of the hairdryer and into my hair.

It was large. It was brownish-black. And, it was ALIVE.

Instinctively, I stared screaming and shaking my head violently to free my hair of whatever creature had been blown onto me. Justin hadn’t seen the unidentifed flying object spew out of the hairdryer. He most likely thought that his wife had gone insane with the way I was gyrating in terror.

But, I wasn’t crazy. There WAS something in my hair, and it finally fell to the bathroom floor…and started crawling away. I’m sure you are wondering what it was…

…shudder…a cockroach…

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, a cockroach was chilling out inside my hairdryer.  And, yes it was IN MY HAIR! Oh, the absolute horror. Apparently it wasn’t too pleased when I turned the device on, because it was definitely writhing around on my scalp. As soon as we identified the pest, it scurried away and climbed behind the bathroom cabinet…never to be seen again. ARGH!!!!

Now, every time I reach for my hairdryer, I take a peek inside of it…just to make sure…

***disclaimer: I live in Florida…no matter how clean your house/apartment is, cockroaches can be an inevitable nuisance at times. Please don’t get the wrong idea that my apartment is a seedy mess!***


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  • Oh my God! I just shuddered!! I know how it is to have roaches in your house (or palmetto bugs, even worse!) no matter how clean you keep your place. Florida is just like that. It’s disgusting. If a roach flew out of my blowdryer and went into my hair, I don’t think I’d ever blowdry again. Ever. Again.

  • This literally made me gag. Now I’m terrified. PLUS, I have crazy curly hair so it would be much more difficult to remove a creature from it than your pretty straight hair. Ew.

  • They can live for WEEKS without their head.
    Remember that.

    Whenever I “kill” one. I proceed to pour clorox over the spot and then flush it down the toilet. Those things can leave hundreds of eggs.

  • Ohhhh my god. That is so creepy. I’m scared to use my hairdryer now.

    I understand the inevitability of cockroaches, by the way. I killed my first one a couple of years ago in my first Chicago apartment without even knowing what it was until after it was dead. Probably a good thing – I was freaked out enough as it was.

  • oh honey, i’m so sorry about that. and no need for the note–we know all about those fucking pests in nyc. kevin had the super unpleasant experience of drying himself with a towel after a shower, only to see a cockroach fall out of the folds. i thought a 5-year old girl was being murdered, from the sound of his screams.

  • That’s one way to wake yourself up in the morning… yuck!

    I never realized roaches in the house weren’t a “normal” part of life until I told a couple of stories to friends up north. Welcome to Florida!

  • OMG, I don’t know how you could have even relived that enough to write it online. That is pretty much my worst nightmare. I don’t know what it is about those vial things, but they are the one thing I am scared of most in this world. Thankfully I don’t live in Florida.

    I am sending you much love for surviving it and living to tell the tale.

  • Oh God! I don’t want anything flying at my head. I got “attached” by flying roaches in Zambia a few weeks ago. I yelled so loud my neighbor/co-worker came to check on me.

  • HOLY $+++! This makes me itchy & jittery. I’m not a squeamish person but those things freak.me.out!! They’re BIG. My old apt used to have them. The exterminator called them “water bugs” b/c they’re mostly in bathrooms, fridges, AC units, etc. where it’s damp. Eff the exterminator, they’re ginormous cockroaches. Yep, there’s nothing you can do about them. My old apt was near a bunch of restaurants too so that didn’t help.

    Hannah’s right though. I used to flush them & bomb the spot with Lysol or bleach. No eco-friendly products here.

  • GAG!!! Oh my goodness, I cannot stand a cockroach. I can only imagine how you felt with it IN YOUR HAIR. Eek! I will be checking my own from now on.

  • OMG! I’m so sorry!! That is terrifying! I live in Texas, and I’m with you about the roaches being bastards in your house regardless of what you do. Ugh. so, so scary!

  • So gross! That just gave me goosebumps and not good ones either! I don’t think I’ve actually ever seen a cockroach in person, but I don’t envy you at all!

  • Wow. Just wow. I am so terrified for you and there was NO need for the explanation! I would have FREAKED THE CRAP OUT. I am proud of you for maintaining your sanity at all.

  • I find this hilarious, but if it were me, I think I might die. I’d probably freak out and start flailing about like you did, only I would probably finish the spectacle with a bucket full of tears. Yeah, that’s right. I am THAT terrified of bugs. I would cry. Pathetic.

  • OMG. This is FAR FAR WORSE than the mouse incident. Because it was ON YOU. I am shuddering. So is B (cause clearly he had to ask why I was shuddering.) I’m so sorry you had to deal with that!

    (PS we had them SO BAD in my Oak Hill apt in college because the GROSS people who lived there before us. When we got rid of them they never came back, but it was… terrifying. Eek.

    Although I once heard that for every one you see… there are hundreds you don’t. Not to scare you, just to let you into my world of irrational fears.

  • OMG – GROSS! We’ve been thinking about moving to Florida. We have a pro/con list. Cockroaches were #3 on the con list.


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